Unwanted Sexual Contact

My wife used to work in an office where nearly all of her coworkers are women not quite but almost. Where the office manager calls another employee a hoochie mama because she refuses to abide by the dress code.

On another occasion in a meeting this same manager asked another employee that she manages to stand up and turn around. When she complied my wife’s manager grabbed this employee by the seat of her pants while instructing the female employees not to wear pants with back pockets.

For years women have complained about sexual harassment in the work place and have demanded laws to put a stop to it. And companies have gotten the message by being hurt where it hurts most: in their pocketbooks. That only large monetary awards by juries can send that   sexual harassment will not be tolerated.

Companies are now so scared of being sued that they are quite willing to do away with due process. By firing any male employee who has been accused of sexual harassment often without doing an investigation. Resulting not only in the loss of a job and career but in a bad record that can follow the affected individual for life.

So it would seem surprising to see women, who’ve made it into management, actually display this unacceptable behavior. But  human nature being what it has always been I’m neither surprised nor mystified by the way these women behave. Quite simply they have the power and they’re determined to not only use it to benefit themselves but to abuse it as long as they can get away with it.

In this women are no better, worse or different then members of the male gender have ever been. While those who continue to think that women are morally superior to men have willfully blinded themselves to human nature. Doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past by failing to learn the lessons taught to our ancestors.

Another reason that I’m not surprised at the modern day woman’s penchant for sexually harassing members of the male gender. Quite simply is because as a male throughout my lifetime I’ve had no choice but to deal with unwanted sexual contact from women myself.

One of my first memories of unwanted sexual contact was when my father and I were living with his mother. One evening as I walked through the front door I was grabbed by one of my fathers female friends and kissed on the cheek. Because my grandmother had purposely hung a sprig of mistletoe over the threshold.

During the summer after I’d turned thirteen my first stepmothers sixteen year old niece. Who lived with us and watched my stepsister along with my brothers and I while my father and stepmother worked. Attempted to seduce me by inviting me to have sex with her after she’d molested me.

During the ninth grade I attended two schools Dalton High and Rabun Gap a private school where the Fox Fire books were created.  I began the school year at Dalton High where one day the teacher had stepped out of the room. I was literally chased out of my science class when one of girls kept trying to kiss me.

Later after the first quarter my father sent me to Rabun Gap where a different girl grabbed my briefcase. Then demanded a kiss for its return and on another occasion banged on the door of the gym where I worked as the sole custodian. Then forced her way inside when I answered the door refusing to leave unless I kissed her.

Even my own mother refused to keep her hands off my face when I was finely able to grow a beard for the first time. It wasn’t enough to compliment me she had to go and embarrass me too by making a big deal over it while putting her hands on my face.

Then just a few years ago my wife and I stopped at the Stone Mountain Wal-mart to purchase some pants for our son. While they went to the mens clothing department I decided to  walk around the store.

As I was browsing along the school supply isle I looked up to see a teenage African-American girl walking towards me. Out of nowhere she came from around the corner heading straight for me. Then as I stepped out of her way she turned, bumped into me and intentionally rubbed her breasts across my chest.

I was so surprised and taken aback that I didn’t quite know how to react or just what to do. Unfortunately my wife wasn’t there nor did anyone else witness this girl bumping into me. However there is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that had I confronted her or given her a well deserved scolding.

Or had she decided to falsely accuse me of touching her breasts instead of her purposely rubbing them up against my chest. It would have been me who would have gotten into trouble perhaps even arrested with no recourse whatsoever. This double standard that assumes that men are always guilty and women are always innocent . Is what not only scares me but makes me so angry that I almost can’t see straight.

As long as men and women work together in close quarters there will always be those of both genders who will harass the other. Either inadvertently, by engaging in rude behavior or intentionally in which case the offender should be punished.

So not only should the rules apply to both sexes but the consequences should be the same. For only when both sexes equally respect each other will the unwanted sexual contact that neither wants stop.
            

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